Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
How true, if you really take a good thought about it.
Sadly, many don't.
The problem with gossipers is that they do not comprehend the definition of gossip.
Gossip -noun
:idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gossip
That is a very general definition of gossip.
The main issue with gossiping is that it meddles with - Trust.
And Trust is a vital criteria in every single friendship.
Allow me to present my thoughts and perspectives.
These are the few factors why one would want to gossip :
There are many other factors to it as well, but I hope you roughly get the picture.
Most of these factors are trying to convey one simple message which is - self centeredness.
What they don't realize is, by doing such a simple act, it leads to a vicious cycle.
How true, if you really take a good thought about it.
Sadly, many don't.
The problem with gossipers is that they do not comprehend the definition of gossip.
Gossip -noun
:idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gossip
That is a very general definition of gossip.
The main issue with gossiping is that it meddles with - Trust.
And Trust is a vital criteria in every single friendship.
Allow me to present my thoughts and perspectives.
These are the few factors why one would want to gossip :
- "If it covers my weakness by presenting his/her weakness, why not?"
- "I need the attention, desperately."
- "This is what I do best, an "information" provider."
- "I have malicious intentions in dealing severe damage towards the person's reputation."
- "If everyone else is doing it, why can't I?"
There are many other factors to it as well, but I hope you roughly get the picture.
Most of these factors are trying to convey one simple message which is - self centeredness.
What they don't realize is, by doing such a simple act, it leads to a vicious cycle.
http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/46/19/23211946.jpg
Allow me to elaborate.
Assuming, there are 5 people involved in this scenario,
Kenny, George, Edward, Sally and Angelica.*
* Names are for illustration purpose only.
It's their first day at work. They just met each other, shaking hands and all except for Edward.
A really timid and shy man, he tends to stay away from the crowd.
However, interestingly enough, whenever he glance at someone, he tends to present a snobbish outlook. Yet, only George knew about the real truth, that Edward did not intend to stay away from them just because he thinks he's too good for them or anything similar to that idea.
Edward was just feeling shy.
Angelica saw this gleaming opportunity. The opportunity to gossip.
She also knew that her lack of participation in projects are beginning to be noticed.
The others haven't really got to know Edward yet, and before that event took place, Angelica already took the first strike.
"Guys, have you heard about Edward's previous profiles? It's unbelievable for the company to hire someone like him!"
"What you've heard Angelica?"
"Horrible anger management, many failed projects, poor attendance .. the list is really long!"
"And trust me, after working for 10 years, there's no way I can get this mistaken. Just becareful when you're working with him. If possible, request to work with someone else!"
George heard the gossip, confronted Angelica and questioned her act. He thinks that the matter must be clarified.
Angelica was familiar with these sort of individuals, after gossiping for countless years.
She twist and turn the story, confusing George's mind to be convinced with her words. George then decides to remain silent and ignore the matter.
Soon enough, Edward was isolated for something that wasn't true to begin with. His profile was clean and was transfered over to this company for a better salary.
He's not aware that Angelica was behind all this and even spread good impressions of her towards people he just met with although he doesn't really know her well yet.
As time passed by, Sally and Kenny realized that Edward was constantly performing and never came late to duty unless for exceptional occasions. They raised their eyebrows toward Angelica's earlier comments.
Angelica quickly formed a backup plan as she want things to continue the way she wants it.
"A fantastic actor isn't he? Trust me, it's just a matter of time before he actually shows it. But it's best that you stay away from him."
Edward was really lost, unsure of why the other workmates are isolating him and started to become depressed. Socially deprived at work as well as at home.
Slowly but surely, his performance at work was affected and due to his sleepless nights, he was late for work, on a consistent basis.
George still knew the truth and also knew what was going on all along after doing some investigation. He hinted the others about Edward and told them to try giving him a chance.
Alright. Full stop here for the short story.
I'm not sure how applicable this scenario is to you, but in this scenario, there are few things to consider :-
For Kenny and Sally :
http://www.freedomlab.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/trust.jpg
Finally, for Edward :
Allow me to elaborate.
Assuming, there are 5 people involved in this scenario,
Kenny, George, Edward, Sally and Angelica.*
* Names are for illustration purpose only.
It's their first day at work. They just met each other, shaking hands and all except for Edward.
A really timid and shy man, he tends to stay away from the crowd.
However, interestingly enough, whenever he glance at someone, he tends to present a snobbish outlook. Yet, only George knew about the real truth, that Edward did not intend to stay away from them just because he thinks he's too good for them or anything similar to that idea.
Edward was just feeling shy.
Angelica saw this gleaming opportunity. The opportunity to gossip.
She also knew that her lack of participation in projects are beginning to be noticed.
The others haven't really got to know Edward yet, and before that event took place, Angelica already took the first strike.
"Guys, have you heard about Edward's previous profiles? It's unbelievable for the company to hire someone like him!"
"What you've heard Angelica?"
"Horrible anger management, many failed projects, poor attendance .. the list is really long!"
"And trust me, after working for 10 years, there's no way I can get this mistaken. Just becareful when you're working with him. If possible, request to work with someone else!"
George heard the gossip, confronted Angelica and questioned her act. He thinks that the matter must be clarified.
Angelica was familiar with these sort of individuals, after gossiping for countless years.
She twist and turn the story, confusing George's mind to be convinced with her words. George then decides to remain silent and ignore the matter.
Soon enough, Edward was isolated for something that wasn't true to begin with. His profile was clean and was transfered over to this company for a better salary.
He's not aware that Angelica was behind all this and even spread good impressions of her towards people he just met with although he doesn't really know her well yet.
As time passed by, Sally and Kenny realized that Edward was constantly performing and never came late to duty unless for exceptional occasions. They raised their eyebrows toward Angelica's earlier comments.
Angelica quickly formed a backup plan as she want things to continue the way she wants it.
"A fantastic actor isn't he? Trust me, it's just a matter of time before he actually shows it. But it's best that you stay away from him."
Edward was really lost, unsure of why the other workmates are isolating him and started to become depressed. Socially deprived at work as well as at home.
Slowly but surely, his performance at work was affected and due to his sleepless nights, he was late for work, on a consistent basis.
George still knew the truth and also knew what was going on all along after doing some investigation. He hinted the others about Edward and told them to try giving him a chance.
Alright. Full stop here for the short story.
I'm not sure how applicable this scenario is to you, but in this scenario, there are few things to consider :-
For Kenny and Sally :
- Is it really that difficult to investigate the truth on their own? Instead of relying and being dependent on someone else instead of themselves? How credible can someone else be more than yourself?
- Being comfortable with things are, having someone else as a victim, they prefer to stay in the shadows. Problem is, if Angelica can be so bold to protect herself, why can't she do the same towards them when it comes to dealing with the boss?
- Knowing the truth has a burden on his back. If he chooses to ignore or take the matter lightly, how is Edward ever going to trust him if he discovers the truth?
- Angelica would also seize that point, prepare it for emergency occasions to keep her on a secured zone. Not going to help George at all, won't it?
- She thinks that she's in the best position in the world. In my opinion? Far from it. To actually step into her shoes would be unimaginable. The fact that she cultivated the habit to gossip, the entire office becomes an award winning drama. Who's who? The thing is, no one dares to pour out their true colours as they fear to be gossiped, rather, always seeking the opportunity to attack another. Ironic as it is, no one trust no one.
- What's worse, because Angelica was the director and producer as well as the main actress of the drama, she lost her entire identity, only to realize that she doesn't know who she is anymore. Putting more and more lies and acts in front of others only to "survive" another day.
http://www.freedomlab.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/trust.jpg- Continue to be who you are. It's true that the life we live in is truly unfair. The more you try to justify, the more you are accused. But it's only unfair if you live your entire life without acknowledging God's existence.
- God is still the final judge.
Psalms 101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure.
The remedy to this deadly poison?
True enough, if you want to bring up a matter to someone, make certain of what's your purpose of doing so.
Is it to aid the person in covering his weakness and improve himself? To discuss with others on how to help this someone so that it benefits everyone?
Or,
Is it because you just despise this person and the way he did things, and you had to make sure that you look good?
Instead of focusing on gossiping, why not complimenting?
The Bible offer great truths and strength, which explains the eternal joy that remains in my soul. If Edward isn't a Christian, it is only normal for him to morph into a monster.
Forgive me, if this post seems to take a rather serious and personal tone. But I strongly believe that this topic shouldn't be left neglected. Many innocent victims don't deserved to be treated that way, that includes the gossiper him/herself.
On the other hand,
* Coming up next : Addictive Hand Held Console!
Thank you for your time.
God bless, Cheers.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
True enough, if you want to bring up a matter to someone, make certain of what's your purpose of doing so.
Is it to aid the person in covering his weakness and improve himself? To discuss with others on how to help this someone so that it benefits everyone?
Or,
Is it because you just despise this person and the way he did things, and you had to make sure that you look good?
Instead of focusing on gossiping, why not complimenting?
The Bible offer great truths and strength, which explains the eternal joy that remains in my soul. If Edward isn't a Christian, it is only normal for him to morph into a monster.
Forgive me, if this post seems to take a rather serious and personal tone. But I strongly believe that this topic shouldn't be left neglected. Many innocent victims don't deserved to be treated that way, that includes the gossiper him/herself.
On the other hand,
* Coming up next : Addictive Hand Held Console!
Thank you for your time.
God bless, Cheers.
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